It is difficult to fully own our bodies in this society. We are influenced by comments on social media, family, and friends. We hear what we are supposed to wear, what make-up does or doesn’t look good, and any other opinion people want to project our way. Not only do we have to weed through cis-folks’ ideas of what is acceptable but there are a lot of opinions or assumptions about what it means to be Trans and a notion that you must have a certain surgery to fit in this category or that. After a long deliberation process with myself and loved ones, I decided that Breast Augmentation Surgery was the appropriate next step for me.
Since I started my transition, the one thing I have been wanting and waiting for is boobs. Originally back when I started, I saw boobs as a right of passage to womanhood and that was imposed from interactions I had with Cis guys, performances, and Tgirls. It felt as though it was something that others had chosen for me. So I waited and sat on the idea and eventually knew that the decision was for me, and not for anyone else.
After starting HRT (hormone replacement therapy), it was recommended that I wait three years before having surgery. The reason for three years is to see how much breast tissue your body develops from your increase in estrogen before planning out the surgery. Tissue development varies between person to person. Some get a lot, and some people don’t develop much. This will depend on your level of estrogen, possibly progesterone, and mostly your own body and genes.
I waited my three years (and then some) before I decided to actually see a surgeon about some boobs. After my three year mark I had obtained a full “B cup”. For the most part, I was happy with that however it still was a struggle to get certain outfits to fit right and caused issues because I was stuffing. I was wearing a bra that was too small for me so I could create cleavage, and was stuffing my bra with my homemade inserts to also get a bigger feel for size. My inserts were two pantyhole slings I filled with uncooked rice and tied it inside of a sock. This was very stiff when I first started using them, but after wearing them a few times my sweat softened the rice which was a little helpful, but still painful. For three years I went through this pain just to show up how I wanted to and not get misgendered as often. By doing this action for so long I started to get bruises and scars on my chest. This restriction also provided me with a very painful shortness of breath whenever I’d wear them, which made performances hard. So I was happy when I started the process of looking for a surgeon.
I ended up going to Minneapolis Plastic Surgery which is located in Minneapolis, MN, where I got to work with Dr. Gervais and his amazing team. Going this route meant I’d have to take out a loan or pay out of pocket as I did not go through the insurance route. There were many reasons why I didn't go that route. Insurance has many restrictions and loopholes that you need to jump through, as well as limiting which surgeons you can go to. For me, it limited my choices to more general surgeons, and not ones with a very focused specialty. Dr. Gervais has done thousands and thousands of breast augmentations and has worked with Trans patients in the past and as soon as we met, I knew going to Minneapolis Plastic Surgery was the right choice for me.
The preparation for my first surgery was a trial as I had to be in the correct BMI for surgery. The BMI chart is an outdated chart, derived for women based on research on mostly white and completely cis women. Using this as a comparison for my body is a transphobic ideal of medicine. It shouldn’t be a part of any practice as it does harm and doesn’t take into account any other body attributes, such as muscle mass for me. I was told I had to lose a significant amount of weight for my height. Although I didn’t agree, I compiled because I still wanted to use Dr. Gervais and since I decided to pay out of pocket I was not in the mood to lose out on the money. My very first breast augmentation surgery that I had on Nov 19, 2020 came to $8,904.60 which included the high graded soft touch silicone implants that I wanted. I chose these implants because they are the highest grade, authentic feeling, and if they rupture or split there is no leakage. If it breaks it opens like a gummy bear which is a much safer option. I started out with getting 560cc’s on my right and 520cc’s on the left. My left side was bigger to begin with so this evened them out. I started out with this as a stage one to stretch the skin, as I have a muscular build I had a very tight chest and I have the option to go bigger if I wanted to.
After care for this surgery was about two weeks. I got to be lazy and and pampered while being camped out on the couch. It was fun to rest and I had amazing friends bring food and come visit me while I healed. Needing to sleep on my back and at an incline was the most difficult part. With help, I followed the medication list strictly, was not able to lift over 5 pounds, and generally did a good job of resting however, to the dismay of my surgeon was performing a week after surgery.
After settling and resting I was able to adjust to my new body and I wasn’t all that satisfied. Were my boobs great (yes); did they make me happy (yes); but I felt there were some things not taken into consideration. Upon my check up, we decided to do a revision to correct a couple things that were missing and that I wanted. First was going bigger since I have a bigger frame and broad shoulders. The size I had just didn’t seem proportionate for me. Second, I wanted more cleavage. Since the implants' width is big, I wanted them closer to the middle of my chest to create that. And lastly, I wanted more projection since I had a lot of skin still to play with which would be taken care of with going up in cc’s.
So the second surgery happened on March 20, 2020 spending an additional $5,227.50 for getting the new set of babies (I also got to keep the old implants). I added 240cc’s on the right making it 800cc’s and added 230cc’s on the left making it 750cc’s. Again, with the tissue I developed prior to surgery, one side of my chest is already bigger than the other side so the size difference is to make sure they are matching in the end. This was something Dr. Gervais was amazing at making sure that the measurement and sizing of my new breasts were perfect. It was nice to see a surgeon really take pride in their work every step of the way. With both surgeries I felt comfortable, taken care of, and understood. We did not move forward until I was 100% sure on what was going to be happening to my body with my money.
As of today, I am still healing, but I am so very happy with my chest. I am ecstatic to be able to live in a body that finally feels like me. I can’t stop looking in the mirror. The healing has been going extremely well, and has been much faster than the first surgery. Surgery isn’t for everyone. Only you can make that decision. If you decide it is for you, make sure that decision is your own, and not an obligation or imposed on you by anyone else. If you do or don’t get surgery, it doesn’t mean you are more or less Trans than anyone else, and no matter what decision you make you are beautiful. Stay wild.